Crazy Things I Did For Love

Though my pangs of conscience, Will drill a hole in you

The follies of youth, have sure had the best of me for the crazy things I did for love. I was young then, and looking back, I feel all silly, and just laugh off all of what I did, as I bury my face in my hands of embarrassment.

I don't know. There are so much crazy stuff that people do for love, and I haven't considered myself as one of those people who have held their hearts on their sleeves and gave their all for love. Whenever I'd hear of a story of a girl who gave her all for love, and "couldn't live without a guy", I just stare in disbelief because in my mind, I feel that a person should not let his/her heart rule his/her life when in love. The mind is a powerful tool, that can save someone, too. Perhaps from heartache? Perhaps from more pain. How easy it is to say that love can conquer all, but when love takes its irrational turn, it causes pain and misery to some people, and tragedy, in the long run. First and foremost, one must love oneself, to be able to love another.

My name, meaning wisdom, makes me think alot. I have been known to use my mind more than my heart. But lately, I feel that my heart has been overtaking my mind to make up for the years that it had been suppressed.

I'm a little bit relieved that I didn't take that dangerous turn to love, I think I still have been sane enough, but I still can't deny that I do have my share of the crazy stuff I did for it :

* Way back in HS, I wrote a poem for someone I liked, and it was published in the school paper. Of course, no names! :)
* Way back in college during my literary class, I wrote painfully passionate poems for someone I liked in class. I published it in my past personal blog, and up to now, whenenever I read them, I could not believe that I actually wrote those. Was I that smitten?
* Last year, I did 100 situps every night for an entire month, for someone. ( Insane!!!! )
* I put my pride in the trashcan as I greet him and reach out to get to know him better.
* I've been continuing my writing in this blog even if I know that he reads it.

I don't know if that list would pile up in the coming years, for I have been taking my time to settle with someone level headed. But a thought just popped out of my head awhile ago, while I was in the car. Could it be true that the pain, and suffering brought about by love further brings out its beauty? Is there beauty in tragic love? Would I give up my wings to be vulnerable to the pain?

Hm....that's a thought to be considered. Do we need pain to feel?