Driving , Dinner, and Dates

Was supposed to meet up with college friends tonight but my dad had somewhere else to go to that he couldn't drive me to Manila. I swear within the next year, I will be able to drive alone! For goodness' sake, I've studied twice already, and I haven't hit the roads yet on my own. It just makes my sex appeal go down the drain. Women who drive look so darn sexy- look at my three best buds. Hahahaha they're in total control of their cars, and I'd love to be in control of mine soon!

My best buds happened to plan a last minute dinner near my place, so M was nice enough to get lost on the road to find my house ( aww, she must really love me! ), and get lost with my directions to our destination again. We went to Italianni's for dinner, and I have noticed that we have been eating alot of Italian food lately. J was surprisingly not hungry - M and I derived our appetites from her and our leader eater won't eat. Is this a wakeup call for me to actually stop my binge eating?

It was a breath of fresh air to be with these friends of mine as we talked about our lives and J's crazy stories. K blurted out something really unexpected that made my eyeballs pop with surprise! M and I were both excited with the beach trip next week, and well, our conversation led to a topic that I have been avoiding for a long time now.

They were unintentionally teasing me about my past - about someone that I dated a long time ago. I actually begged them to stop talking about it, and asking me questions about it because what happened in the past was a very delicate topic that I would have preferred to completely bury in my past, or if better, erase completely, and permanently from my memory.

To sum it up, I've learned how to differentiate love, and falling in love with the idea of love the hard way, and I got burned. I saw myself falling out of love every single day until I felt no more. It was quite complicated, but I had to get out of the misery and guilt that I've felt, that I've chosen to hide away, and pretend that no such thing occurred. I feel nothing for the person anymore, but I still choose not to talk about that person, and wish to never lay eyes on him again.

I was apologetic after for acting like I've been traumatized by the situation that my bestbuds got worried if I was physically hurt in any way by that person. I assured them that it wasn't the case.

For me, disenchantment with love is a big tragedy - a soul shattering moment that leaves a scar in your soul, that can only be erased by a stronger, stable, and needless to say, genuine, true, warm love.

I've been burned too much that I don't even trust my judgement anymore. I've been liking someone right now, but I am afraid to be liking him for the wrong reasons. My friends assured me that it wasn't, it could just be that I haven't known him better yet. We had our long talk, and that left me admiring that person a whole lot, maybe the longest talk we've had in the duration of our being acquaintances, but let's see, let's see.


Next time I choose someone to fall for, I'd be sure to take my time. I need that someone who gives me that ultimately magical feeling that I won't be able to live without. Too bad, summer boy was just a two-hour thing. I will always thank him for bringing some magic into my life- which made me believe in the idea of love again. I wonder what would happen if we bump into each other in the future.

"You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, love love you. I never wish to be parted from you again." - a line from Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice ( the movie with Matt Mcfayden). I think this is the perfect words to profess their love for someone. If spoken, and felt sincerely, I think this is soul-mate material. *wink*